April 7, 2009

Study Finds Paint Aisle At Lowe's Best Place To Have Complete Meltdown

According to a study published Monday in the Journal Of Mental Health, the paint department inside a Lowe's Home Improvement Warehouse has surpassed the shelving section of Ikea as the location most conducive to having a total psychological breakdown.

The study, which observed a cross-section of 750 average, mentally sound Americans as they shopped at a variety of retail outlets, found that the singularly chaotic qualities of a Lowe's paint aisle, combined with its overwhelming number of product choices, make it the ideal place to completely fall apart.

"Even the most well-adjusted individual can be reduced to a feeble, trembling shell of his or her former self after a half hour of paint shopping at Lowe's," said Dr. Olivia Kang, a behavioral psychologist at the University of Texas and lead author of the study. "The pressure to make a decision between two seemingly identical shades of beige, the glaring fluorescent lights, the frantic patrons on all sides—it's too much for the human psyche to process."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_finds_paint_aisle_at_lowes?utm_source=a-section

1 comment:

Cultural Offering said...

The good news is that you can quickly recover in the tools aisle.